Promote Yourself Without Being "Self-Promoting"

Over the past 18 years coaching leaders, high-potential employees, and ambitious professionals, one of the two most common themes for development is learning how to promote oneself. This challenge is not partial to any gender, race, role, tenure, education level, material success status, or personality style. All forms of our diverse population struggle with promoting themselves…effectively.

This subject has been at the center of many coaching sessions recently, with the additional pressure of economic uncertainty, organizational restructuring, and often a fear-based, competitive team environment. Regardless of the changing seasons of corporate and non-profit cycles, the core challenge remains steady…

How do I promote myself without being perceived as self-promoting? These are two very different, but equally powerful approaches to influencing your own success.

The Proven Power of Self Promotion

Self-Promotion is a proven path to professional success. But it is not the only path. Examples of self-promoting behaviors include:

• expressing confidence
• celebrating personal wins
• sharing contributions to team success
• ensuring visibility to important and senior stakeholders
• strategic networking

Self-promoting is powerful, and it works. Most self-promoting behaviors are associated with, and come more naturally, to extraverted personality types. Many research studies confirm that extraversion is positively correlated to promotions, salary level, and even career satisfaction (though that would depend on one’s personal definition of success).

The paraphrased biblical theme, “ask and you shall receive” sums up the essential ingredient to success in work and in life. If we ask (for a meeting, an introduction, a new project, visibility support, a raise, a promotion, or anything else), while not guaranteed we MAY receive what we asked for. If we do not ask, it is guaranteed we will not. This doesn’t mean that raises and promotions don’t happen without self-promoting activities. Hard work, quality work, knowledge, skills, experience, strong relationships, results and impact are equally, if not more important to measurable success, and most often rewarded. However, the recognition and rewards are dependent on the awareness, perceptions and priorities of decision makers. Without intentionally influencing that awareness, the odds and reward levels decrease.

In team building workshops and coaching, I often share that authentic self-expression is more important than personality traits, strengths lists, resumes, accomplishment lists, or any other external “report card” of who we are. We are not bound by our personality, though it requires self-awareness and willingness to be uncomfortable as we stretch into more reluctant aspects of self.

When digging into the reluctance of self-promotion that so many clients have, the primary barrier I hear is the perception of arrogance, boastfulness, egomania, and self-centeredness they associate with the self-promoting behaviors listed above. While that may sometimes be accurate, it is still a perception filtered through the lens of the viewer and more importantly, it is not useful. In some ways, that judgment gives power away and denies personal choice and personal responsibility.

There are other common barriers that can prevent successful promotion of self: Here’s a quick “self-assessment” list to consider:

• Perfectionism
• Comparison
• Fear of ‘no’
• Self esteem
• People pleasing
• Modesty
• Avoidance
• Pridefulness

The good news is that just like learning to walk, we can learn to embrace and communicate our value and worth more effectively, one step at a time.

The Alternative Path: Promoting Self

Promoting Self is a powerful alternative to the extraverted behaviors common to self-promoting individuals. It simply demonstrates prioritized, deliberate communication that often benefits the receiver in the process. For those that resist bringing attention to themselves, (generally introverted preferences), it provides a modest pathway to recognition and visibility that is authentic, transparent and value focused.

Three Paths to Successful Promotion

Path 1: Take the lead in your manager one-to-one meetings.

Path 2: Identify and learn from someone who “has what you want”.

Identify.

Pay attention. Look for successful leaders in the organization or community that you like, respect, could imagine working for, would like to learn from, and that have demonstrated experience that you seek.

Connect.

Find a way to create a connection, if one does not already exist. Follow their work and information sharing. Comment on posts with genuine input and specific acknowledgement. Look for common people connections that could facilitate a personal meeting. Request a 20-minute informational meeting and include 2-3 specific topics of interest. Leverage common connections, managers, and any other potential influencers of the individual to get connected.

Ask.

In your meeting:

1. Thank the individual for their time.
2. Tell them why you sought them out and what you appreciate about them.
3. Tell them your high-level professional aspirations or goals.
4. Ask them to share experience that contributed to their success.
5. Ask them to share information or experience specific to aspirations.
6. Ask them for recommendations, introductions, learning targets that they believe could help you get from where you are to where you want to be.

Often, these connections evolve into mentor or sponsor relationships that contribute substantially to career opportunities and success.

Path 3: Shine the light on others’ success.

Successful leaders…

• hire people that are smarter than them
• provide the runway and resources to be successful
• recognize and promote that success to others

Successful contributors…

• seek out people that are smarter than them
• learn from and contribute generously
• recognize and promote their success (and the value of learning from them)

For competitive people in competitive environments, this may seem counterintuitive. A spotlight directs attention with light beams but draws people to the source of the light at the same time. Be the source and you will share the light.

Personality Influences

Some personality styles are more instinctively wired to promote in general, and others are more instinctively wired to demonstrate value and wait for recognition. If you are familiar with the Insights Discovery framework, here are some examples of promoting style characteristics:

• RED energy promotes action, results, high standards, and personal success.
• YELLOW energy promotes visionary ideas, change, connectivity, and personal success.
• GREEN energy promotes collective inclusion, partnering, collaboration, and team success
• BLUE energy promotes rational decision-making, risk mitigation, long-range planning, and measurable success

Pay attention to colleagues and leaders and notice their promoting style characteristics. Look for attributes that you might try out to strengthen your own presence and communication.

Wherever you find yourself on the spectrum of self-promotion, remember that it a skill, a habit, and a requirement for getting what you want and what you deserve.